Te Amo mi Corazon

On this day of Love, I’d like to remember about my first love, my mother Corazon. Her name means heart in Spanish and I think she was aptly name because as a wife and a mother, she was the light and the Heart of our family.

My mother was the third daughter in eight siblings. She was born in Cotabato, studied and got married in Davao. She met my dad at UM when she was studying Chemical Engineering, my dad was a student of Mechanical Engineering. They eloped and started a family in Masara, Davao Del Norte where my father was living at the time. My mother worked in the Laboratory in the mining company while my dad was with the Human Resources department. My mother gave birth to two boys, my brothers Edwin and Aldrin and me. We moved to Davao when I was five because they got a house there and the good schools were there for my brother who was in college.

My mother was strict as most parents in the 80s were, she wants me to follow my routines, sleep early, eat well, get home before sunset.  I only recall a few times when she hit me when I was being naughty. I remember that she loves me and my family so much. She stopped working to look after us. She wakes up early, prepare my bath, my breakfast and get me to school, she was at my school in the parents lounge area from kinder to grade 5. I have a service pool going to school and then she will commute and get to school and bring my lunch. If I don’t like to eat she spoon feed me. She reserves the swing for me in the playground. She would “talk” to the kids who are mean to me. She changes my clothes every lunch time at school, put baby powder because I will get sweaty after playing. She does this every day and didn’t complain. I was aware of her and my dad’s sacrifices, how they worked hard for us so I tried to be a good daughter, tried my best at school and I finished my bachelor’s degree. I know I had made them proud as they would like to tell their friends of my achievements.

When I had my first job at Laguna, I was there by myself and got sick after a few months of Dengue fever and she was there the next day I was admitted at the hospital. It was her first time to fly by herself, she brought me Jollibee. She helped me feel better and stayed with me for a few months. I only stayed with that job for a few years because I miss my family especially my mom so much. I am a mamas girl. I learned independence but still want to be with my mom. she still prepares my bath and my breakfast and baon every day until the day I moved from home and got married.

When I had Kulay, my mother was the first person to see him. We stayed at my parents house and my mom helped me look after my son.

When we lost my Kuya Edwin and Kuya Aldrin, my mother was never the same. I could only imagine the pain she had burying her two sons just a few years apart. She started to be forgetful, not officially diagnosed but she started to have dementia.

One of my best memories with my mom was when we would go to Merco, just the two of us and eat our favourite halo-halo. She had simple joys, she don’t go out much, lost touch with friends, she’s always there for us. She rarely get sick, I only remember one time I was young when she had hyperacidity and spent some days at the hospital. She was always healthy and dependable not just for us but for our relatives.

I tried my best looking after her and my dad when they were older and I hope it was enough. I hope that my mom felt the love I had for her. I hope she knows that all her sacrifices, her care and love for me were not in vain.

I had braced myself for the day I will lose my mom but when the day came, it is painful. I prayed I  can go home to Davao and spend more time with them but she has passed. We will never be together again in this world. I pray someday we would be whole as a family again. I hope she is happy now with my brothers and family who has passed. I pray for her peace. I pray my father and I will get through this.

I love you mama, my mama Corazon, a big piece of my heart belongs to you.